Clean, family friendly, office safe humor

Miscellaneous forex jokes…

If investments are keeping you awake at night, sell down to the sleeping point!

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome and you sing well too!

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock!

If you’re given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal!

A Financial Planner is a guy who says to client: I’ve reviewed your financial picture, and if we manage your money properly, there should be plenty for both of us.

An Institutional Investor* is past year’s investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.

A Stock Split is when your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth 39.95 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth 5.50!

BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in stocks.

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell “Broke.”

BULL: What comes out of your stockbroker’s mouth.

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