Clean, family friendly, office safe humor

Twas the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hackers a surfing, Geeks? Ya you b;et!
The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
In hope that St. Nicholas soon would be there
My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,
We just settled down at my rig„(it’s a Mac).
When out of the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,
Then it made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!
I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideqays and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page that wasn’t so clear.
When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than mainframes, the graphics they came,
Then Nick glanced towards my screen,
My Mac called them by name;
“Now Compaq, Now Ace” my speakers did reel;
“On Apple, On Gateway!” Santa started to squeal!
“Jump onto the circuits, and into the chip!
Now speed it up, speed it up, make this thing hip.”
The screen gave a flicker, he was into my RAM,
Then into my room rose a full hoiogram!
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black (The white socks he really should lose).
He pulled out some discs he had stored in his pack,
He loooked like a dude who was ready to hack.
His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses how techno!
This wasn’t the same Santa that I used to know!
With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know that I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word and gave my Mac a quick poke,
And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.
He accessed my hard drive and added a SIMM,
Then threw in some cool games,just on a whim!
He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!
He distorted my picture with Kai’s Power Goo!
He updated office, Excel and Quicken,
Then added a screen saver with a red clucking chicken!
My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,
He added the latest version of Netscape!
The drive gave a whirl as ifit were pleased.
St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.
Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,
Santa turned back to nothing but Ones and Zeros!
He flew back into my screen through my uplink,
He flew back in the Net with barely a blink.
But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,
“Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte”

Leave a Reply