Clean, family friendly, office safe humor

Funny questions

* If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

* If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

* Is there another word for synonym?

* If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

* Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

* Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

* If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

* Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

* How do they get the deer to cross the road at that yellow road sign?

* Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

* Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

* Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

* What was the best thing before sliced bread?

* Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do a “practice?”

* When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

* When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

* Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”

* Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food?

* What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

* If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

* Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

* Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

* If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

* If a man falls in the forest, does a tree hear it?

* Does a mother hen tell her chicks bugs taste like chicken?

* Why do you park on the driveway, but drive on the parkway?

 

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