Clean, family friendly, office safe humor

Men

What Men Really Mean When They Say …

“I’m going fishing.”
Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” Continue reading

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Thoughts on Marriage

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Continue reading

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THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Let’s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. Continue reading

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What a retired husband does

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

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AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. Avoid Cutting Yourself When Slicing Vegetables by Getting Someone Else to Hold the Vegetables While You Chop.

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Drunk man

A man wakes up with a major hangover from his work’s Christmas party. As he starts to focus on the room, he notices 2 aspirin and a glass of water by the bed. He also notices that the room is cleaner than normal.
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The latest blonde joke

A blind guy in a bar says to the bartender, “Want to hear the latest blonde joke”?
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A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his Audience…

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his Audience. He Said: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife.
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Are computers masculine or feminine?

SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine..
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The Best Boss in the World

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

“Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”
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