Clean, family friendly, office safe humor

College

The Rabbit’s Thesis

Scene: It’s a fine sunny day in the forest; and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his laptop. Along comes a fox, out for a walk. Continue reading

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Oxymorons

Oxymorons are two words that contradict each other.

50. Act naturally

49. Found missing

48. Resident alien Continue reading

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Funny questions

* If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Continue reading

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Actual answers to quizzes/exams from science students (junior high through college)

The latest issue of the Hexagon (newsletter for Alpha Chi Sigma) included some actual answers to quizzes/exams from science students (junior high through college).

The best of these were:

“When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.”

“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.”

“Blood flows down one leg and up the other.”

“A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”

and then my favorite:

“To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.”

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Late exams won’t be accepted

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two-hours long, and standard blue exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Continue reading

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DAVE BARRY–ON COLLEGE

College is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly two thousand hours and try to memorize things. The two thousand hours are spread out over four years; you spend the rest of the time sleeping and trying to get dates. Continue reading

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