Clean, family friendly, office safe humor

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Bart Simpson’s Punishment

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BART SIMPSON’S PUNISHMENT…
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The opening credits of “The Simpsons” shows Bart Simpson writing the same sentence over and over again on a chalkboard; the old “write it 100 times” punishment, which establishes him as a troublemaker. Each episode is different.
Someone apparently went to the trouble of taping all the Simpsons, watching them all and writing down what Bart is writing on the board.
These are the collected writings of Bart Simpson from the opening credits. Even if you’re not a fan, you’ll like these: Continue reading

Actual answers to quizzes/exams from science students (junior high through college)

The latest issue of the Hexagon (newsletter for Alpha Chi Sigma) included some actual answers to quizzes/exams from science students (junior high through college).

The best of these were:

“When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.”

“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.”

“Blood flows down one leg and up the other.”

“A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”

and then my favorite:

“To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.”

Listen to children… laughter is healing

A friend asked her teenage son to empty the grass catcher from the lawn mower after she had finished mowing. He emptied it on the lawn.

When Gwyn was young we had hamburger gravy on mashed potatoes for dinner. I was poor. I said eat up or we’ll have poop on a shingle for breakfast. She said looks like poop on a cloud for dinner.

While shopping for hair shampoo, my daughter asked for $8.00 shampoo Vidal Sassoon. I asked what’s wrong with the .89 cent stuff I buy. She said look what it did to you dad. (I’m bald). OK Gwyn, you won.

Sometimes kids make no sense at all until you listen to them. But be prepared to laugh.

Mike

A History Of The World According To Student Bloopers

The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

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