A large green frog, covered all over with long green hair, hops into a bank, jumps up on the counter, and says to the young blond teller, “I want a loan.” Continue reading
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mothers…then buy a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want … …then buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies …then buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores…then buy a dog!
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually…then buy a dog.
BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness..then buy a cat!
Now be honest, you thought I was gonna say… marry a man, didn’t you?