Clean, family friendly, office safe humor

Window signs

Sign in an office window: We shoot every 3rd salesman and the 2nd one just left.

Veterinarians Waiting Room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

Sign on an electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts

Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day

Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action

On Maternity Room Door: “Push, Push, Push”

On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.

Optometrist’s Office: If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.

Scientist’s Door: Gone Fission

Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff

Podiatrist’s Window: Time wounds all heels

Butcher’s window: Let me meat your needs

Sign on Fence: “Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive”

Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet -miss a car payment

Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.

Hotel: “Help!” We need inn-experienced people

Dry Cleaners: Drop your pants here

Music Teacher’s Door: “Out Chopin” Be “Bach” in a “Minuet”

At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.”

Beauty Shop: Dye now!

Garbage Truck: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got

Computer Store: “Out for a quick byte”

Restaurant Window: Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

Funeral Home: Drive carefully, we’ll wait _ _.

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