by J Russom
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”
“Sand,” answered Juan.
The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?”
“Sand,” says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about….. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”
Juan sips his beer and says, “Bicycles.”
Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence… Continue reading
Scene: It’s a fine sunny day in the forest; and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his laptop. Along comes a fox, out for a walk. Continue reading
Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people, she did something about it. Continue reading
“Yes, the President should resign. He has lied to the American people, time and time again, and betrayed their trust. Since he has admitted guilt, there is no reason to put the American people through an impeachment. He will serve absolutely no purpose in finishing out his term. The only possible solution is for the president to save some dignity and resign.”
– 12th Congressional District Hopeful William Jefferson Clinton, during the Nixon investigations in 1972.
Oxymorons are two words that contradict each other.
50. Act naturally
49. Found missing
48. Resident alien Continue reading
And the Lord said to Noah, “In six months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark.” And in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for an Ark.”OK,” said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints. “Six months and it starts to rain,” thundered the Lord. “You’d better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time.” Continue reading
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hackers a surfing, Geeks? Ya you b;et! Continue reading
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode
only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode. Continue reading
1. We believe in black Reebok tracting shoes, argyles, and obnoxious slacks. Continue reading